


Sweet Melancholy

by red_shadows



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 15:45:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15952484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_shadows/pseuds/red_shadows
Summary: Baekhyun comes back to Busan thinking there was nothing left for him there. Count on Do Kyungsoo to give a new perspective on his life and push him out of his bubble of sadness





	Sweet Melancholy

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter has a lot of Chanbaek in it but fear non Kyungsoo will come and change that

The feelings came back crushing him like a wall of bricks as soon as the smell hit his nostrils. Baekhyun found himself in that part of town where controlled vegetation only wild in appearance meets the asphalt and the concrete. It was expected, that things would go like this. As soon as he set foot outside his parent’s apartment to take a breather and decided to go the same way he did many times in the past, it wasn’t possible that it would go any other way. 

But he kept walking taking in the middle aged men and women trying to keep the sturdiness of their gone youth by doing some exercise, running and stretching, using the makeshift gym the town hall had set outside between the artificial forest and the small stadium. 

Baekhyun remember running alongside with them, listening to Guckkasten, the volume set intentionally uncomfortably high. Trying to forget the mind numbing pain, running sometimes for hours. He let out a low chuckle, because when thinking about it like that, the whole thing sounded very dramatic but in reality it was nothing that nobody have or would not experience in their life. The truth is Baekhyun was broken hearted, is all. There shouldn’t be anything more to it.

When he started approaching the orange grass that had been burnt by Busan’s suffocating summer, fallen trees and the plowed earth’s smell beaten by people doing their daily exercise hit Baekhyun’s senses he couldn't help but cringe at the heaviness that immediately settled on his heart. 

It wasn’t as unbearable as it used to be, it was just there taunting him, reminding him that 4 years have done nothing for him. He felt like a teenager all over again. Lost as to what to do once he would graduate. A nobody that most people never bothered to spare a glance at. It’s not to say that he was bullied or that his classmates would mock him. No he was just there, they just didn’t care for him. Well surely they would say some unkind things when he wasn’t there. Baekhyun couldn’t prove it but he was sure of that. He was just a student nothing bad enough that people would pick on him about, nothing that would make him popular either. He was just Baekhyun.

High school had been dull and deeply uninteresting until he met Him, Park Chanyeol. It’s not like Chanyeol appeared out of thin air, suddenly stumble into Baekhyun’s life and ultimately broke his heart. No it has happened more gradually than that, subtly, like an eagle would carefully eye its prey and soundlessly descend from the skies to capture it. Chanyeol was the tall gangly kid whom did modelling as a part time job, liked by boy and girls alike. There was always someone around to laugh at his jokes, no matter how bad. He stood out in pe classes, girls would rush to the court every time he was playing basket ball and swoon over his good physics. His academics were just as spotless. Not that Baekhyun really knew about it before he started talking to Chanyeol, they were both in senior year but weren’t in the same class. 

Looking back at it now, Baekhyun didn’t remember how they even started talking. They shared some after school activities, the art club. Something Baekhyun did because it was required. He does arbour some passion for painting but nothing that would make him voluntarily stay after school. He does vaguely remember Chanyeol coming over to him and asking if he could sit next to him so they could share paint brushes, having forget his own set at home that day. And it started from there. Chanyeol slowly took over every single aspect of Baekhyun’s life. Without neither of them realising they stopped being strangers that went to the same school and became best friends who knew everything about each other. Chanyeol started telling him things he wouldn’t tell any of his close friends and he had a lot of those. Things he never told to his dear sister and well it made Baekhyun feel all kind of things because Chanyeol trusted him that much. 

Week ends were spent binge watching movies, series and playing video games. Baekhyun found himself getting interested in things he never cared for. And soon enough he started looking at haute couture and luxury brands, he started playing mmog on occasions he didn’t get to hang out with Chanyeol, who did get quite busy with his modelling gigs at some point. he started looking forward to the release of The Battle Of The Five Armies. Soon enough He developed feeling for him that were far out of the realms of simple friendship and it scared him to no ends. He dreaded the days he didn’t get to hang out with Chanyeol. They didn’t get to see together at school that much because their schedules rarely matched. Just catching a glimpse of Chanyeol in the corridors goofing around with his friends made Baekhyun’s day feel so much fuller so much better.

Contrary to what you may be thinking right now, it’s not the fact that he might be homosexual that scarred him the most. It’s certainly not the fact that he might ruin the friendship either. Baekhyun was so head over heals with Chanyeol, became oh so dependant on the time they spend together that he couldn’t have it any other way. It was clear to him that being simply friends with Chanyeol wouldn’t be enough, it would only make him more so miserable than when he was just a nobody his pears didn’t care for. However Chanyeol had aspirations, dreams that were too big for a city like Busan, dreams that would inevitably drive him away from there, from Baekhyun. 

And so Baekhyun confessed like the fool he is. He had reasons to think that Chanyeol felt the same way. The fleeting touches that lingers on his arms and tights when they were alone. The eagerness to share a bed when he slept over, the sweet smiles. The words that were shared only between the two of them. All of that made Baekhyun fall even harder for Chanyeol, it also spurred him on to confess. 

-it’s not like I’m judging you but it’s disgusting those longing eyes that you always throw at him, not because it’s gay but it makes it so obvious that you are head over heals with him. And seeing that lovesick puppy look on your face every time you see him makes me want to throw up. 

Those are the words his friend Jongdae had spoke to him one day over lunch break. At first Baekhyun had been all kinds of flustered and embarrassed, but then he started wondering if anyone else could see it. Jongdae was one of the rare friends that stuck around with him through middle school up until High School. No matter how much he had share with Chanyeol, Jongdae was without any doubt the one person outside of his family that knew him the best, so it wouldn’t be very surprising that he would see right through Baekhyun and know about his feelings for his best friend. He felt nethertheless self-conscious about his feelings and attitude towards Chanyeol. He wondered if the latter knew.

-oh please don’t go all stressed and anxious on me, you should just give it a try. The guy spends every single week end with you, doing god knows what. If a popular part time model like him is willing to spend time with a loser like you, certainly there’s something there 

Baekhyun started scowling at Jongdae after that last sentence but also because he pointed his chopsticks at him and some rice ended up on his shirt as a result.

-heh don’t look at me like that, this is the closest thing to a pep talk you will get from me. And don’t be too obvious about it here or anywhere else for that matter god knows how people would react. Just keep your hand to yourselves when you are in public ok? you can be gross together in private.

Baekhyun had to fight every fibre of his body to keep himself from hugging Jongdae right then and there but he knew better than to lean over a table full you their lunch food. He smiled at him instead with a new found determination in his eyes. He was going to confess the very next day, before he could chicken out and change his mind, before Chanyeol could get a last minute call to a modelling gig that would take him away for the week end. As the next day was Friday and his agency avoided getting him work on the week days. 

Baekhyun had been on edge all day long at school that day, his notes rendered unreadable because his hands were shaking so much. When the bell finally rang he was the first out the door. He went straight to the gym where Chanyeol was waiting for him and they made it straight to Chanyeol’s house. Walking back together was an experience for Baekhyun. Not that they never walked back home together but the fact he was going to confess later that evening put everything under a magnifying glass. He realise how much he loved Chanyeol’s voice, how it was deep and soothing and always so cheerful. The back of their hands kept brushing as they were walking and it took every self control Baekhyun had in him not to reach out and just hold his hand. At some point Chanyeol put his arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders while talking excitedly about The Desolation Of Smog, Baekhyun had went rigid and tried his best to look straight ahead and not shudder at Chanyeol’s head being so close to his. Making some non comital sounds to signal that he was listening to what was being said. Once they got inside it didn’t get any better, they settle side to side to play Call Of Duty and Chanyeol had decided to sit impossibly close to Baekhyun the side of their bodies were flushed against each other. Every time Chanyeol would move he would push closer to Baekhyun if that’s even possible. 

When they decided to call it quit and go to bed around 11pm, Baekhyun had been so exhausted that he almost forgot about his confession. But then they were upstairs in Chanyeol’s room and he was leaning in into Baekhyun’s space completely towering over him, his hand on the smaller’s forehead.

-are you sure you are ok? you’ve lost every single round tonight and you were so quiet, which is so not like you. Your face is so red tho, are you running a fever? 

Baekhyun didn’t hear none of that. All he saw was Chanyeol’s face being mere inches away from his own and his plump lips moving, looking so inviting. He had nothing in particular in mind when he started lining in. Deep inside his mind a small bit of his brain that remained sensical did register that he was about kiss Chanyeol, he did panic a little bit a sheen layer of sweat appeared in his palms but he didn’t care, it was almost painful how right it felt, how it felt amazing to just let loose and do as he pleased. Chanyeol wasn’t making any move to get away so he just went ahead and planted his lips on Chanyeol’s. they weren’t doing much at first they were there, lips pressed against one another, drinking each other in. There weren’t, explosions, or fireworks but it felt so excruciatingly right, like coming home to a cup of hot chocolate, it felt new and nerves wracking but so familiar and exciting. He felt all fuzzy and was tingling all over but eventually pull away halfheartedly to gauge Chanyeol’s reaction. 

He started lining out of the kiss but Chanyeol placed a hand on his nape tilted his head and started deepening the kiss. Moving his lips ever so slightly and it was enough to make Baekhyun’s brain go blank. He didn’t know what to do with his hand so he awkwardly put them on Chanyeol’s waist. When he felt something wet licking in between his lips, he unconsciously open his month and next thing he knew there was a tongue touching his own and exploring his mouth. They were making out, he was making out with his crush Park Chanyeol, his confession took a turn that he definitely didn’t expect. Then Chanyeol put his hands on his shoulders gently pushed him until the back of his knees hit the queen size bed. And then they were falling back on it, lips still attached. By then low moans and groans could be heard and between sounds of their lips smacking together. It did last for a while.

Chanyeol did eventually detached himself so they could both breath. And instead putting their foreheads together breathing heavily and carding his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair. They were looking into each others eyes. Chanyeol had so much affection and fondness in his, he felt like his heart was going to explode. He doesn’t know what it was but he started feeling drowsy and eventually fell asleep maybe the excitement and the anxiety he felt all day finally got the best of him. He distinctly remember actually confessing before drifting into his slumber feeling content knowing that things could only get better from there. Oh how wrong was he.

For one he woke up to an empty bed, feeling confused and lost, not knowing where he was at first. I remembered falling asleep wrapped up in something warm. A warmth that he knew couldn’t simply be coming from his conforter. Next thing he knew, the door was opening and Chanyeol came walking into the room wearing sweat pants and an oversized tee that made him look all kind of cute and huggable. At first he didn’t seem to realise that Baekhyun was awake, it’s only when he closed the door carefully and turned around, being met by his best friend looking directly at him that Baekhyun remembered what happened last night and immediately flushed all the way down to his chest letting out a timid ‘hi’, attempting to hide his embarrassment but pulling the comforter all up to his nose. Fondness flashed quickly through Chanyeol’s face before he started frowning, a deep furrow between his thick eyebrows as he went and plopped himself sideways next to Baekhyun’s knees onto the bed back turned to him. 

Something was wrong, Baekhyun could sense it, and started overthinking, has he done something wrong? was he a bad kisser or worse did he grope Chanyeol in his sleep? He started thinking about a way to apologise, when his train of thoughts was interrupted by Channel sighing and his hiding his face in his palm. Baekhyun wish he never heard what Chanyeol said next. 

-You should forget whatever happened last night 

Baekhyun felt like all the air was knocked out him, once he register what Chanyeol just said, his mouth went dry and he could feel a lump forming in his throat as a heavy silence stretched between them. He didn’t imagine it right? he didn’t imagine Chanyeol kissing him back and hugging him as he fell asleep. Tears started pooling in eyes as he uttered a barely audible ‘what?’

-it was my mistake to lead you on like that. I don’t know what came over me when we kissed but I… I am sorry I really can’t see you as anything but a friend. I cherish our friendship over anything else, I’d rather keep that than head towards whatever direction this was leading us in. 

Each word he spoke made Baekhyun feel like someone was hammering nails into his chest. His arms fell to his side and he took to look out the window. He was trying very hard to keep himself together. He did feel Chanyeol wrapping one of his big hands around his own and call his name several times. When Baekhyun made no move to turn towards him, Chanyeol gently put his other hand on his cheek and slowly turn his head so he would look at him. When Baekhyun finally look into his eyes he saw something aching to hurt there and he didn’t understand why. He didn’t even realise he was crying till Chanyeol gently whipped his tears with his thumb. 

-Please say something, I don’t want to lose you… I’ve never had someone I truly considered to be a best friend until you came around, I don’t want to lose you

And then Baekhyun was being pulled into a tight hug. There was such a discrepancy between what was coming out of Chanyeol’s mouth and how he was acting, Baekhyun couldn’t stand it. He used his free hand to push on Chanyeol’s shoulder and broke the hug. Turned his face away from him. He had to get out of there he couldn't bear to stay in Chanyeol bed and inhale his sent any longer

-it’s fine, let’s forget about last night. Let’s go back to how we were before. 

He snatch his other hand out of Chanyeol’s grip and hastily got out of bed. He was thankful that he fell asleep fully clothed in his jeans and tee, he gathered his jacket, started hurrying downstair where his backpack and shoes were awaiting him. He heard his name being called as he was putting on his shoes. 

-Baekhyun, I am sor…

-See you around 

And with that he was out the door. He remembers walking for hours to god knows where. He wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings. He remembers feeling empty and crushed like he had been run over by a truck. His steps were heavy and his brain had yet to digest what happen between the day before and that morning. He didn’t know how or why but he ended up in front of Jongdae’s house after a while. He just stood there not even ringing the bell, his expression blank until eventually his friend’s mom who was leaving the house to run some errands found him there and call out for his son. 

The sound of a ball harshly hitting the ground startle him out of his reveries. As he was reminiscing on his grim past he made it to the tennis courts. There, a group of teenagers were playing a friendly match, goofing around and laughing at each other whenever one of them failed to throw the ball back. Baekhyun smiled bitterly at the scene and made a beeline towards the benches that were littered around the tennis courts and sat himself on one of them with a sigh. Pulling out a worn out pack of Lucky Strikes from his bak pocket. He rarely ever smoked anymore he had switch to e-cigaret a couple of months back, but the last few weeks had so jarringly stressful, he had craved for the real thing. He needed that shot of nicotine that always makes him dizzy and slightly nauseous. 

When he didn’t particularly like smoking, it did numb his senses and kept his hands occupied when his anxiety was acting up. He mother didn’t like it either, she had chewed him out when she found out. And she would have so much more to chew him out about again when she comes back. He knew that much as soon he called her a week back, asking if he could come back home. Her voice came out with a mix of anger and concern with just a twinge of disappointment on top. She hadn’t said it out loud but he knew it was burning at the tip of tongue. He appreciated that she held back from saying she knew it. Knew that going to London to pursue a fashion design major was a bad decision on Baekhyun’s part. 

When he had broke the news to his parents. His father barely lifted his eyes from the news paper he was reading to give him a puzzled look when his mother had been absolutely hysterical. Telling him that it wouldn't secure a good life for him, that London was too far, that he wasn’t nearly independent enough, that it wasn’t a suitable career for a young healthy man and he would certainly regret leaving. The fact that she was being so disapproving only spurred him on to seize the opportunity and not more than 1 month later he was leaving. Chin high with the certainty that he was going to prove her wrong. A bitter laugh escaped his lips, sounding more like a sob to his ears. The whole thing sounded like a bad joke, surely if God there is, he must be having a sweet time tossing him around like this. There was no one else to blame but himself he knew that much, expect maybe that punk ass finance director who decided to cut on his scholarship out of blue. Things were going fine before that fateful day when he received his letter in the mail. 

Now he was back here, all the emotional baggage he had gathered in London now pilling up with the bitter memory Busan carried to him. No plans what so ever, sleeping in his childhood bed with posters still up on the walls like a failed adult. He had done everything to avoid this, not just because of his mom, or because of Chanyeol. The truth is that there’s nothing for him here. Jongdae, his only friend left to become an accountant in Seoul. And Busan held no opportunity for him. What was he supposed to do now? go back to college? no thank you. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to pursue Fashion anymore. Had he even wanted to in the first place? he wasn’t so sure anymore. As a matter a fact he didn’t have any kind of certainty anymore about what he wants out of this life. 

Saying that he felt lost would be a major understatement. He felt sorry for himself for he let himself down. When he left, he did with the assurance that he would never comeback, that he would stop being a pathetic heartbroken young adult whom just go through life without any kind of purpose or will. Before he left everyone around him always seemed to have their shit together, plans ambitions for their life and future. He always felt at odds with the vision his parents had for him. As a matter of fact he didn’t have any kind of idea of what he was going to do after his graduation. It’s Chanyeol that had infuse some will into him, to leave and look beyond Busan, beyond what his parents constantly told him about what his life was supposed to look like. 

Chanyeol was driven and passionate. Some may see modelling and fashion as shallow and unfulfilling but it held so much more for Chanyeol. He whole body would lit up like a Christmas tree whenever he was talking about being on set and wearing designer clothes. Fashion had always been more than just clothes for him. He would constantly talk about it being the art of expressing one’s personality. Something that carry what one is without having to talk. Maybe just maybe the eagerness Baekhyun had to leave and pursue fashion design in college had been a result of Chanyeol’s interest in the subject. He had fooled himself into believe it was his own decision so his ego could be at ease. Now that everything was over he could recognise it. It wasn’t helping his low self esteem but he was tired of battling with himself, trying so hard to deny that Chanyeol had basically dictated the first years of his adult life but he could only turn a blind eye to the truth for so long. Now, well he guesses that it was his parents’ turn to dictate of his life.


End file.
